Life Coach For Hire

Life Coach For Hire
Do you remember the good ol’ days when a loud mouth narcissist was known as a "know-it-all?" Today we live in world filled with pompous asses who believe they deserve a title, and not just ANY title. These blowhards must have gathered in a mirror covered room and loudly talked over one another until some egotistical jackass spat out the phrase "LIFE COACH." While monitoring their reflections they joyously applauded this new term that would suddenly become the make-believe profession of the 21st Century.

Interestingly enough, Wikipedia states, "Since there is no official regulatory standard for life coaching and no governed education or training standard for the life coaching industry, anyone can call themselves a coach and take on clients." Oh sweet irony.

I remember in the 90’s when every sleeveless retard in the gym proclaimed they were a personal trainer. Apparently the prestigious occupation of a trainer has been trumped by this new level of arrogance. In the 90’s fat housewives would get suckered into paying some gold chain wearing Guido $50 an hour while she awkwardly jogged on a treadmill. The muscle-bound Neanderthal would chat on his cell phone and give her the occasional wink, as a lame form of encouragement. The same formula is occurring with life coaching; however instead of selling the promise of a new body, life coaches pimp the promise of a new, more fulfilling life.

A new life. That’s a hell of a sell. I have learned one can pay an ego-guru upwards of $500 an hour for their expert opinions (see Wikipedia note above) on matters of the heart, career decisions, personal goals and overall emotional development. Hell, I can call a phone sex operator for a fraction of that and more than likely get the same results.

But who am I to judge? If you’d like to pay me an ungodly amount to whine about your dead-end job and whoring, cheating spouse, I’ll listen. I’ve never been one to hold back an opinion and if you take me shopping I’ll probably tell you your ass DOES in fact look fat in those jeans.